


Reminiscence of the Red Lotus

by Broken_Synchronicity



Series: omne trium perfectum [9]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AND IF YOU DO IM SO SORRY, Allusions to Chronic illness, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist!Lance, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, How do I tag this without spoiling the whole thing?, I SWEAR TO GOD IT ENDS HAPPILY, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), The title in and of itself should be a warning if you know where I got it, This is so angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 21:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_Synchronicity/pseuds/Broken_Synchronicity
Summary: It is still there, at the beautiful waterside where the pavilion was.Prompt: Flowers, a note, music





	Reminiscence of the Red Lotus

**Author's Note:**

> IT WAS ALL [THIS](https://youtu.be/Jiwh1y0zwCc) SONGS FAULT
> 
> I'M SO SORRY

There's a pond in the park some blocks from Lance's home that he absolutely adores. It was wide but shallow, only a foot or two at the deepest part, and muddy at the bottom, but that's exactly what the lotus flowers blooming in the pond needed. A pavilion, elegant with it's carved and painted wooden pillars, stands close to it, with a pair of small wooded docks on either side stretching a few feet out into the water.

Lance loves going to that pond, he could sit and watch the lotus sway gently with the wind and waves. There's no one kind of lotus in the pond, as several different colors bloom across it, blues, pinks, yellows, and whites fighting for attention.

He was but a small child of 8 when he first found the pond and pavilion. It was mid summer, and the lotus were in bloom, and he'd never seen something so pretty in all his 8 years of life. No one he knew grew them in Cuba when he was there, and he'd only ever seen stylized pictures of them before. Whenever he could, he returned to the park, to the (seemingly) floating flowers.

It felt like his special place, despite it being a very open spot in a public park. He doesn't even bring his best friend Hunk here.

He normally would sit at the end of the dock by the pavilion and watch the water, sometimes he'd bring a sketch book and draw the landscape before him, or even his homework if he felt like it. If the pavilion was being used, he'd just move to the other dock. He watched the aquatic flowers grow, bloom, die as it grew cold, then return as the weather warmed once more.

\----

At age 11, Lance returned to the pond one day to find the first red lotus he'd ever seen in the pond.

It stood tall, an inch or two higher than any of the other blooms, the most brilliant shade of red he'd ever seen. He didn't even know lotus could _be_ red, but there it was, defiant of all the other blooms. He'd barrowed his mama's camera as soon as he could to take a picture, wanting to immortalize the proof of its existence.

The red bloom often became the subject of Lance's thoughts. He doesn't know how the bloom came about, unless the people who help take care of the pond for the city had planted it themselves in the pond. Yes, he looked up the fact that lotus can essentially hibernate in a manner of speaking, but that still doesn't sound plausible since it's literally just _one_ bloom.

"You're something else, huh?" Lance says aloud to the red lotus. Speaking to it had become something of a habit. "The only red lotus among all these other ones..."

Lance watches the flower's petals sway lightly in the breeze. He pulls his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them.

"I wonder if flowers can get lonely. Being the only one like you." Lance tips his head. "Do the other flowers not like you? Is that why you try to stand taller than them? Or is it because you know you're different that you stand away from them?"

The flower only sways in response.

\----

When Lance is 15, he'd come to expect the red lotus bloom to be there in the pond come late spring-early summer.

He doesn't expect a boy in a red jacket to be sitting at the end of his dock instead.

At first, Lance thinks to move to the other dock, but as he continues observing the other boy, something stops him.

The boy is of asian decent, with a mess of wiry black hair and pale skin. He looks almost like something out of an oriental film of some kind, completely at home among the lotus flowers blooming around the dock. Lance freezes as the boy's head perks up and looks towards him.

He has the most beautiful blue-violet eyes Lance has ever seen.

(It's the first year the red lotus doesn't bloom.)

\----

His name is Keith, and it almost feels like Lance has known him forever.

Keith is a quiet boy, Lance finds. Perfectly content to listen to Lance ramble on. Not that the indigo eyed boy doesn't give his input on whatever Lance is currently going on about. If he isn't outright confused by something, he has a rather honest, if very blunt, opinion.

Keith doesn't give him much about his home life. He's homeschooled, since he's apparently not healthy enough to attend public school. He lives with his grandparents, who would rather Keith be at least outside, than continue to coop himself up at home most days. Lance is the first person to ever give him any meaningful interaction outside that.

The two more often than not meet up at the pavilion. Keith isn't familiar with their city enough to find any other place to meet first, but Lance doesn't mind it. Lance decides to be the one to show him around, taking him farther and farther from the park each time Keith asks to. Keith can't go too far, or to places that are too crowded, or he risks his health, but seeing Keith's face as Lance introduces him to another new thing always seems worth it.

When they don't go anywhere, they stay at the dock or under the pavilion.

Sometimes Keith brings a guitar, and strums it gently, playing maybe just random notes, maybe an actual song, Lance can't tell. But always something soft and slow. Sometimes he hums along. Lance would pretended to slow dance with an invisible partner. (He wouldn't admit to who he imagined as his partner.)

Sometimes Lance brings his sketch books. Even rarer, he asks Keith to model for his sketches. Because who is he kidding, Keith is just _gorgeous_. (The tinge of pink on pale cheeks is just a bonus.)

Lance always let's the other boy know if they can't meet up when he can, and Keith always understands. Keith doesn't ask to meet Hunk or his family, and even if they want to meet Keith, they respect Keith's hesitance.

In the end, Lance is able to find a balance between Keith and everything else, and he's happy with it.

\----

Keith explains early on that he won't be around once the weather gets cold enough.

"It was, sort of how we found out just how sick I was." He says with a shrug. "When it gets cold enough, my body just kinda goes into overdrive before it just... shuts down. So we don't spend winter anywhere that gets cold enough to snow."

There's a part of Lance that's horrified by both his own morbid curiosity for Keith's mysterious disease, and the complete nonchalance he has when describing it.

Lance tries not to think on it, instead, he does what he can to keep in contact with Keith until he returns with the warmth of spring.

Lance both does and doesn't like face timing with Keith in these instances. Because there's something of a quiet misery about Keith when they talk through the screens that Lance can't help but also feel. His eyes are dull, and yet, Keith still tries to smile for him, tell him he's doing ok, play a little tune on his guitar.

It's enough to make his heart ache in a way he doesn't understand.

\----

(Keith returns, just as expected, and Lance doesn't comment how the shorter boy feels smaller, thinner in his arms than the last time they'd seen eachother.

He just holds him a little tighter, for a little longer than what a friend probably should.)

\----

Lance is on the cusp of adulthood, in his last year of highschool when everything comes to a head.

It starts with a text from Keith, asking to meet up at the pavilion as soon as Lance can.

The thing is, it's almost winter. Keith should have been long gone by now.

As soon as Lance is able to, he's sprinting down to the park. He doesn't stop until he sees the pavilion, the nearly bare pond, and a figure in red curled up at the end of the dock.

"Keith!"

He sees Keith slowly lift his head, but do no more. Lance nearly tumbles off the dock in his rush. He's on his knees beside the ebony haired boy and he can see now that Keith is shivering. Not badly _yet_ , but it's still worrisome when it's still only mid 40's outside and Keith has a jacket. His eyes aren't really focused until he looks at Lance, but even that only feels like barely an improvement when Keith looks like death warmed over.

"Keith!? Keith, what are you still doing here!? Why are you outside?!" He's frantic and bordering on panic. Keith just blinks and begins to uncurl himself. "We need to get you somewhere warm. Here, use my coat-"

Lance is haulted from pulling off his coat when Keith seizes his arms. Lance is startled enough to stay frozen as Keith mearly slips his arms around Lance's torso and buries his face in his shoulder. (Fuck, he's so _cold, why is Keith so cold?_ ) Lance is quick to snap out of his stupor when Keith gives a hard shudder, and attempts to wrap the too thin boy in his coat while still wearing it.

"Keith? Keith, please, we need to mov-"

"I lied."

Lance freezes once more.

"... What?"

"I lied..." This close to his ear, Lance can hear the tightness creeping into the other's voice. Lance takes one breath to try and reel in his own creeping hysteria.

"What do you mean?" He's surprised at the steadiness of his tone. "What did you lie about?"

Keith tightens his hold on Lance.

".... A lot. Almost everything." Keith's voice is cracking and breaking almost as much as he's shaking. "I'm-... I'm not... sick. In the sense I've been telling you."

Lance tries to hold his tongue from screaming. _If you say you're dying-_

"I'm not... quite...." He hesitates, then takes a shaky breath. "You asked once... if flowers could get lonely."

Lance's breath hitches. He's never told _anyone_ that he talked to the flowers, let alone what he said. Slowly, he pulls Keith away from his shoulder to stare wide eyed down at him. Keith doesn't look up at him, mearly hangs his head as tears pour down his cheeks.

"You asked why I was apart from the others, if it was because they hated me or if I pulled away. The truth was that I just wanted to see everything. At least, that's what it was at first." He continues. Lance just keeps staring.

"After I bloomed for the first time, you appeared at the dock. You saw me and talked to me and after a while I just... I wanted to be able to talk to you, to say something back."

"Ke-... Keith..."

"I don't know why or how any of this happened. One day I was just. _There_. On the dock. I was in disbelief, but then you were there and I was just so _happy_ to be that close to you." The small smile that flitted across Keith's lips only lasted seconds.

"But I couldn't just... tell you what I was. You would have thought I was crazy and left. So I lied. I don't have grandparents, or a house, I just come back here and vanish into the pond until the next day. I made up my name. Everything I brought with me just, appeared when I asked for or needed it. I don't know how we went about talking in winter when I was under four inches of mud and another three of ice."

Lance barely perceives that he's beginning to shake his head. His mind has already pieced everything together, but he can't be, _he can't be-_

"You asked once if flowers could get lonely. That's all I ever was when you were gone."

The red lotus.

Keith was the _red fucking lotus from the pond._ Or some kind of flower spirit or something.

_What the fuck is he supposed to do with that information!?_

"Lance? Lance, _please_. Please, say something, _I'm sorry_." Keith is full on sobbing now. In spite of his mind still reeling from the sudden revelation, he has sense enough to pull Keith back to his shoulder. Keith clings with all his trembling limbs might. Lance stiffly began stroking Keith's hair, blankly staring forward.

"You're dying."

It's not a question. There's a nod against his shoulder. Lance shudders out and exhale.

"How long?"

Vague, but he knows what Lance is asking.

Keith takes a few heaving breaths before peeling himself from Lance. He slowly lifts his trembling arms so that his hands are between them.

Lance is still somehow surprised when he can see right through those slender hands.

"Not long. I- My tubbers- This is the last time I'll bloom..."

And with that, it's as if someone hit fast forward. Suddenly, little lights, like fireflies, begin to rise from Keith's body. It's no longer just his hands that are see through, Keith is see through. Fading away. _Dying in his arms._

No. No no _no no no no **no!**_

Keith was supposed to come _back!_ Lance was going to invite him to graduation! Introduce his friends and family to him finally! Have the graduation party right here at the pavilion surrounded by everyone he loves! He was going to-

He was going to finally ask Keith out...

Yet all he can do now is hold the dying boy as he fades out of existence.

"Why...?" It comes out barely more than a whimper. Keith has ceased movement, simply sagging into his hold, lights streaming faster from him now.

"I'm... I'm glad that I got to meet you. To be friends with you. To..." Keith turns his head, breath coming in cold, shallow puffs against tanned skin.

 

 

"Thank you... Goodbye..."

 

 

(Those weren't the three words he wanted to hear.)

 

 

The lights cease and there's nothing but cold air in the space where his arms still hang in the air.

On the dock rests a lotus, dried, brown, and half rotted.

Lance carefully picks up the flower, places it in his coat pocket, and walks home.

\----

(He tries to text Keith the next day.

He gets a message saying the number doesn't exist.

He curls himself around a pillow and _screams_.)

\----

Lance is 20 when he's finally in the full swing of college life as an art student.

In the time since That Day, Lance has forced himself to keep busy. Keep moving, keep going, because he know that if he stops his mind will wander back to the grief he's trying to burry.

(He stopped going to the pavilion. He can't go back. The last time he was there was to gently sink the remains of the flower - _Keith's flower_ \- back into the pond, along with a letter with everything he never got to tell Keith.

 ~~He may have also found a rock or two to throw at the remains of the other lotus~~.)

One thing that's come about this all is that he's become far better in his art in these last couple of years. He's forced himself out of his comfort zone in order to escape the ache in his chest.

(He's taken every sketch book that has any hint of the pavilion, any image of Keith, and hidden them all in a box in the back of his closet back home.

He still has Keith's number on his phone, though.)

"So yeah, Pidge's family own a plant nursery. I'm sure you'll find something for your still life assignment there. You're the best at drawing plants that I've ever seen! You'll ace this no matter what you submit." Hunk cheered. Lance chuckles, despite the twist it brings in his heart.

(No one knows the truth. When he was asked, when the grief was still new and more obvious, he had told a half truth, that Keith had moved away permanently, and then, later, that Keith had been hospitalized.

Though he's certain Hunk is suspicious, Hunk never asks. Hunk _does_ know how much Keith meant to him.)

"Didn't Pidge say they hired someone recently?" Lance remembers hearing it in passing.

"Yeah, don't remember if Pidge told us his name. But, apparently the guy got out of the hospital a couple weeks back for some accident I think? He's got some bit of amnesia 'cause he was in a coma for a long time and he's been trying to piece his life back together since." Lance let out a low whistle at that. Poor guy must have it hard.

They arrived at the nursery and call out to their friend. Lance faintly hears the sound of someone strumming a guitar somewhere in the nursery. (Familiar notes, but likely a coincidence.) Pidge pops out from one of the aisles and waves them over.

"So you need something for a still life?" They ask, leading them further in. Lance notices that their heading closer to the music.

"Yeah, nothing much. Just whatever you can do. I can just come in and sketch the flowers as they are if I need to."

"Nah, it's fine. We know you won't hurt any of the plants on purpose, so you can take a few with you and bring them back later." Pidge waves their hand to silence any protests, then turns around the next aisle and calls out. "Hey, Keith! Come here for a sec!"

The music stops and footsteps are heard.

(It's just a coincidence, Keith is a comon name. It's just a coincidence. _It's just-_ )

"Yeah, Pidge?"

Around the corner comes a young man of asian decent, a little shorter than Lance, a little on the thin side, with wiry black hair pulled into a rabbit tail at the base of his neck, dressed in red under the loose apron that's the nursery uniform.

Blue-violet eyes turn to them, to _him_ , and go wide. They stare, first in confusion, then, slowly, in dawning recognition, and begin to well. Lips part, gape, trying to form words. Finally, they come, quiet as they always were.

"... Lance?"

 

 

  
(If they end up sobbing on the floor of the nursery, clinging to eachother like it's the only thing keeping them from truly falling apart, they don't care.

Not when Keith is repeatedly muttering _I love you, I love you, I'm sorry I never said, I love you so much._

Not when Lance silences him with a desperate kiss that steal the air from both of them.

Not when Lance's heart finally returns from the waterside pavilion where he left it.)

**Author's Note:**

> Life has been hectic lately, sorry it took so long to post again. Being an adult is shit.


End file.
